Celebrating 25 🎉 1.12.93

My 25th birthday is coming up and I honestly can not think of a birthday that was so important to me. There is nothing really special about being 25, but after the year I’ve had I am so glad to start a new year. Now that I am 19 months postpartum and I am just NOW finding relief in my daily struggle with anxiety and depression. With the right balance of medications and therapy I am beginning to feel like a better version of myself and I am truly thankful for my support team because none of it would have been possible without them. Most people have no idea how I spent my 24th year. It was black and white. I was constantly battling myself and somedays I felt like it was a war that I was bound to loose. I was suicidal. But not in the “I am going to kill myself way”. There are many different types of suicidal thoughts. I truly believed that my anxiety was going to kill me and I was completely okay with it. I knew that if and when it killed me that I would finally find the relief that I was so desperately trying to attain. It reached the point where I was so paranoid to drive my car because my mind kept telling me to drive it off the road, to just end it here and now. It was at this point in September that I reached my lowest of lows and sought the right kind of help for me. Before this I was seeing a doctor I hated. After this, I found the perfect therapist to help correct my intrusive thoughts. I literally had to retrain my brain to have a positive mindset because it the short span of a one year everything I thought was extremely negative. I also, found a new doctor who actually makes eye contact during my appointment and listens to my concerns. I know that I am not where I want to be yet and I have a long way to go but I am traveling down the right path now. But for now I just want to celebrate one of my greatest accomplishments and that is making it to 25 ❤️